He Was a Vampire
by Maygen Lauren
Summary: Edward can’t hide his feelings as well as we thought. The truth is, he needs to come out and explain what’s going on his head. Too bad it doesn’t come out right. BREAKING DAWN SPOILERS Takes place during Jacob’s Book in BD.


**Title:** He was a Vampire. (Pay no attention to the was. I simply followed Stephanie Meyer's quote)

**Rating:** K+ Can kids read Twilight? (Scandalous)

**Summary:** Edward can't hide his feelings as well as we thought. The truth is, he needs to come out and explain what's going on his head. Too bad it doesn't come out right. (BREAKING DAWN SPOILERS) Takes place during Jacob's Book in BD.

**Regarding:** A head case.

**Disclaimer: **I'm just shy of depression. No I don't own Twilight.

Thank you KrystalCullen for being my beta. It was a new experience for me, and you definitely made it easier!

"_Bella and Edwards relationship was always defined by the fact that he was a vampire and she was not"- Stephanie Meyer_

**PLEASE DO NOT CONTINUE IF YOU HAVE NOT READ BREAKING DAWN. IF YOU ARE IN THE PROCESS OF READING BREAKING DAWN YOU MAY ONLY CONTINUE IF YOU ARE PAST PAGE 169.**

Bella lay dazed, under mountains of blankets, on a white couch that had been moved into the center of the living room. Her bones ached, she was hungry and her eyes dropped forward from a lack of sleep. She turned slightly, seeing the sunlight seeping from under the thick dark blue drapes. Why must everyone believe she was dying? And even if she was, wasn't it only right to die in a lit room with the sun gleaming on her peaceful face? Why make the dark and morbid, more gloomy?

Her eyes fell on the carpeted floor, and she couldn't help but sigh to herself. Bella was sure that her legs were too weak to even swing off the couch. She wanted nothing more than to sit up and draw in a breath of cool air. The thought turned into an action. She inhaled deeply, and she felt her lungs struggle to make use of it. This only resulted in a cough, which shook her body in a painful terror. Cold hands reached out in every direction, comforting her with their gentle pats.

She put her hand up and looked into the four faces of her worried family. Rosalie gave her sister a half smile while adjusting the washcloth on her head. Alice, who was standing behind the sofa, continued to rub tiny circles in her back, while Esme moved back to sit in her seat. Edward kept his eyes on Bella's face, even after she'd turned away. The intensity of his stare was enough to drive her mad. He reached out, very slowly, and took her hand, making sure to be gentle with her as though he thought she would break. She rolled her eyes to look at his face, but avoided meeting his stone black gaze. He used his fingers to soothingly brush the hair off of her sweaty face. She tried to lean into his touch, but felt strained, doing so.

"What's the matter?" His voice was extremely husky, having not been used in a while. The rest of the family looked up, surprised. Even Jasper and Emmet, who had been seated at the dining room table playing a silent game of chess, looked over to see their brother.

She shook her head slightly and frowned, it was no use hiding it from Edward. "I'm overheating in these blankets." Edward turned to kneel carefully over her. He bunched his hands around the thick quilt and pulled down to her waist.

She saw his eyes linger over her enlarged stomach and he grimaced; Edward shamefully looked back up to her face. "Better?" He asked solemnly.

She gave a small shrug of her shoulders. "A little" He moved away again, returning to his place on the floor. Her breath escaped in an agitated puff. Their hands remained connected, Bella refused to release his hand. The coolness of his skin made her feel better, so she held it closer to her face. He didn't seem to notice, but someone else did.

Alice cleared her throat and stretched her hands out behind her head. "I think I'll hunt for a bit, the burning in my throat is becoming unbearable."

Jasper stood up to take her hand. "I'll join you." He turned towards Emmet with a smile. "You should come also; we haven't been on a hunt since last Thursday with Carlisle."

At that Carlisle came trotting down from the stairs his hands out to Esme. "We should join them love. Get our fill while we can." She half smiled, standing to meet him at the door, his hand out to her.

Emmet glanced over at Rose, who was obviously deep in thought. "Rosalie, why don't you join us?"

"I'll stay here and help Edward." She said without looking up. Everyone knew she was in this just because of the little being inside her sister.

"Rose, I'm sure Bella and Edward will be fine for an hour or two and we all have our cell phones?" He walked over a put his large hand on her shoulder. She hissed angrily, challenging him to keep it there. Emmet slowly traced his fingers down her arm and tugged on her hand. She dropped her eyes and allowed him to pull her outside. Once the door was shut, her yelling ricocheted the houses wood paneling.

"I SHOULD BE IN THERE WITH BELLA! HOW DARE YOU Drag me away…" Her voice faded to nothing quickly.

As soon as the house was empty, Bella and Edwards eye's met. She smiled, showing of her surprisingly white teeth and he sighed, pulling his hand away from her, and sliding farther away from the couch. He stood up gracefully and moved towards the curtained window. He lifted up the edge of the fabric and peered outside. Her heart sank and something roughly punched her stomach. She fought not to speak out in pain, and waited for it to subside. It hurt her to see Edward behaving this way towards her; it left a whole where her heart was.

"Why are you all the way over there?" She asked in a whisper. She could see the reflection of his face in the window. It looked disturbed and anguished. His black eyes glistened slightly.

"Safer." He mumbled.

Bella's eyebrows scrunched in frustration. "I doubt it." She huffed under her breath. She knew he had heard her, but would pretend he hadn't. She slowly moved her feet to the floor and twisted so that she was in a seated position. Edward was at her side in less than a second, placing his hands on her arms, instructing her to lie back down. She shook her head and shrugged off his hands. "I'm tired of this couch and this room and how fucking dark it is." She spat at him. Edward was shocked to hear the profanity in her mouth. "I'm tired of being carried around and babied and I'm tired of y-" Bella stopped herself before going any farther. He looked taken back for a moment before guilt painted his face.

"Would you like me to carry you to the bedroom?" Edward asked in his now unfriendly, monotone voice.

Bella nodded, placing her arms around his stone neck. Edward stood carrying her bridal style up the stairs and into his large bedroom. He leaned over the mattress, placing her in the center of the often, unused, king-sized bed. He adjusted the pillows behind her head and then moved away to pull his desk chair to the side of the bed. He sat down and intensely stared at her. Bella couldn't help but stare back.

"Edward, I," She realized she wasn't exactly sure what she had to say. "I didn't mean to lay all of that on you, back there."

"You had every right to." He said without affect and moved back in his seat a bit farther.

Bella reached out a hand to him, motioning for him to get closer. "Stop moving away from me, I want to be close. Come cool me off." She laughed a bit. "I promise I won't bite."

_Typical Bella, _He had probably been thinking. He sighed and sat on the bed, kicking his shoes off and laying down on his back next to her. She curled up against his side, resting her head against his shoulder. The low temperature of his body began to slowly bring her fever down.

She reached for his hand, but at the same time Edward stretched and moved his hands behind his head. "I wish you'd bite me." He said rather coldly.

"Why?" Her voice hurt.

"I deserve it."

Bella huffed as a smile grew on her face. "What good would that do? I'd just end up breaking my jaw." She leaned up to leave a soft kiss on Edwards chin. He lifted his head back so that she no longer had access. Her lips fell in a pout and she crossed her arms, defeated. "You're terrible, you know that, right?"

"I had an itching." He said turning so that his breath brushed against her cheeks. Bella was momentarily stunned. She inhaled his scent and felt instantaneously calm. She closed her eyes to focus on the feeling; it was almost bliss like. When her eyes reopened, Edward was staring at the ceiling again.

"Are you that angry at me?" She leaned up on one elbow so she could look at him.

"I'm not angry at you." He spoke dryly, his eyes still fixed above him and his lips barely moved. And she was a bad liar?

Her eyes narrowed. "Liar."

He looked sideways at her. "I'm frustrated, not angry."

"Okay then; why are you frustrated with me?" Edward rolled over to also perch himself up on his elbow. Their eyes locked and he cursed under his breath.

"Just go to sleep Isabella." Her forehead wrinkled and she felt tears reaching the brim of her eyelids. A deep ache in her chest reached the surface and she mentally slapped herself for crumbling under pressure. She hadn't meant to cry, it was completely involuntary. Edward reached out and began to wipe the droplets of her cheeks as they spilled over.

"Damn it Bella, I wasn't trying to make you cry." She could tell he was trying to keep his voice reasonable. His thumb brushed under her eyes.

"But you _are_ angry!" She sobbed overwhelmed.

"I just wish you'd let me get _that_ out of you when I had the chance, love, that's all."

"Edward I want your child! I want this baby with you. I didn't want you to kill him!" She defended as Edward threw himself off the bed into a crouch on the floor. He pointed his finger madly at his wife and shook his head rapidly. She moved back into a sitting position, cowering away, but clearly not afraid.

"Don't you dare call that monster my child! That thing is killing you, and you protect it. It's my fault you're dying." He sank back down into the office chair, head in his hands. "Oh god, I'm killing you. I put that creature inside of you, and I'm going to lose you because of it." If he could turn any whiter, he would have. Edward felt sick to his stomach as he recoiled. "It's not my child." He said looking up. "It's not even human."

"It is your child Edward and he's going to be beautiful." Bella felt childish as she pushed his buttons.

"It's going to devour you Bella, don't you understand?" He hissed, he was truly frightening.

"I'm not going to die Edward." She spat coldly.

"Yes you are, and once you're gone, there'll be no hope for me." He whimpered now.

A noise escaped her throat almost like a growl. "Stop it, you're insane!"

"I'm insane? You're the one who married a vampire and let yourself get impregnated by him! How could you be so idiotic? I knew this wasn't safe. I should have stayed away and never-" He stopped, his brain catching up with his mouth. He'd lost it. His ever-fathomable control; the trait Jasper envied about him the most.

Bella reeled back hurt; She was at a loss for words while her mind wandered trying to make sense of Edwards's reaction. He'd never yelled at her like that. They'd never fought before and he didn't want their baby? "I, uh…"

Edward looked towards the door and stood up moments before Alice entered. She must have spoke to his mind because he took steps closer to her before getting right in her face. Before he could speak, Alice threw up her hand. "No Edward, don't defend yourself. I _saw_ what just happened. I tried to get here before you said anything you would regret, but I could hear your shouts from Canada."

"Alice, but"

"Just go Edward, cool off." Bella couldn't help but find this a bit ironic, but the humor in the statement didn't make her feel any better. Tears were still flowing freely down her face and sobs shook her body. Alice quickly crossed the room to gather her young sister's body in her arms. "He didn't mean any of it." She brushed her fingers over her extremely warm forehead. "He blames himself for your pain and while you find it all as "just a price to pay", think of where he's at. He has to watch you go through this Bella, and the odds don't look good and I'm not saying you won't make it through this, because you might. Bella," She sighed. "What he did was wrong and it was wrong for him to take his…frustration out on you, especially now, but he will come around. He'll come burst through the door demanding your forgiveness with a shiny new car and clothing." Bella groaned. "Kidding…everything will be fine." She said trying to convince herself, as well as her sister in law.

After a few moments of holding her, Alice cringed. "What?" Bella asked, pulling away.

"You smell terrible."

"Like a human?"

Alice laughed. "No, like BO."

Red highlighted her cheeks, which only made Alice laugh harder. "I haven't showered in over a week. No one lets me get off the couch."

"Except for Edward, because he clearly carried you up here. Did you bruise his ego farther to make him compel?"

Bella sighed. "A little" She huffed. "Oh Alice I'm a terrible person. Edward is the most understanding person in the world and I force him to the point of no return. He should hate me."

"No he shouldn't. Edward loves you, and only I can know how much." She gloated and placed her arm under Bella's knees. Bella didn't ask questions and instead threw her arms around Alice's neck and allowed her to carry her into the bathroom.

"How much does he love me?" The dark haired girl begged. "Alice you MUST tell me. You're my sister and Edward, after all, is my husband." Her brown eyes glistened from the light over the bathroom mirror. Alice grinned placing her into a seated position in the Jacuzzi like tub.

"Off with your clothes." She motioned, pulling Bella's shirt over her head before she had a chance to object.

"You're going to watch me?" Bella blushed, feeling evidently uncomfortable.

"Well I sure as hell am not going to leave you in here alone. Now don't freak out, just let me help you." Bella was stripped of the rest of her clothing, and her dignity. Alice ran the warm water and it began to fill. Alice duly noted the blue bruises covering Bella's protruding stomach.

"Now, how much does Edward love me?"

Alice laughed again. "Too much"

"Alice, seriously, you can't bring things up like this, and not explain." She leaned her hair back as Alice lathered her hair with water and shampoo. She didn't care about how she looked anymore, she just wanted to know how much Edward loved her, because she sure as hell loved him a lot, more than anyone could love anyone else.

"It'd be easier to show you." She moved onto rinsing her hair.

"When?"

"Eventually" Bella went to protest. "Soon Bella, relax!"

After the bath, Alice quickly helped Bella dry herself and dress her in new gray sweat pants and a large black zip up. She guessed it was Edwards. She lifted the sleeve to her nose; it smelled like him too. She was carefully carried back into the bedroom and laid back on the mattress.

A knock came at the door and they looked up to see Esme in the doorway. "You're looking better Bella." She said with a smile.

"I feel better and cleaner."

Esme nodded to Alice. "Carlisle just talked to…" Bella knew whom they were talking about. "Can I send him up?"

A frown appeared on Alice's once calm face; she simply nodded and turned back to Bella. She started to speak under her breath in German. As she quickly stole a pen and sheet of paper from Edward's desk and wrote, _go to sleep_.

Bella automatically understood her German mind trick and closed her eyes with hesitation. She was aware of a new presence as Edward's sweet breath tickled her nose. She fought to keep her eyes shut.

"That's not a "Bella sleeping face". I'd know those anywhere." A frown plastered her face as the horrible words exchanged between them, fluttered to her memory. He kissed her soft cheek. "I'm sorry love." He whispered in her ear. She cracked one eye open to look at him. "I should've have kept my thought's to myself. I had absolutely no reason to take my irritation out on you."

"Do you honestly wish that you'd never come back after what happened in Rome?" She sighed. "Did you really want our relationship to stop there?"

"Hush Bella, you know I didn't mean any of that. You definitely were not reckless when you decided to marry me. If anything, that was my fault. I pushed marriage on you." His hand caressed her cheek. "And it was very wrong of me to yell at you the way I did and for that I am truly sorry." His eyes were pleading her for forgiveness, pleading for her to understand that she was the only person he would ever want in the world.

"But you're still angry about the baby?"

He shook his head. "I'm afraid for you. I don't think you understand how I would feel if I lost you again. It's heart breaking to watch you go through this and I can't do anything Bella. What I want to be done, you won't let me, and I understand why, so don't argue love, but it's hard for me. I hate myself know that I've done this to you."

"Edward I will never ever blame you for this. I want this." She let her hands fall on her large stomach and Edward surprised her by doing the same. She shuddered at the contact and, oddly, felt completely calm. Everything and everyone was still. A smile grew on her face.

Edward removed his hands after a moment and inched closer to her. "I'm not going to pretend to be happy about this, because I know, you know, I'm not. But I will not make you feel guilty anymore, because you don't deserve it. If you think this is the right thing to do, then so do I."

"That's all I can ask for." And she smiled while he leaned in to softly kiss her lips. He pulled back, a wild expression on his face. "What?" Bella asked.

"Jacob, he's coming here." He scratched his chin. "And his angry. He thinks you've been changed."

"Quick, get me down stairs so he can see I'm alright. I don't want him to start a fight." …

**This story picks up at page 169 in Breaking Dawn. I honestly, as a member of Team Edward, didn't hate Jacobs Book. I just felt that it should have been in Bella's point of view because there was a lot of "things" we missed. I would have like to see the family's reaction when Bella came home from the honeymoon pregnant. Hmm maybe I'll right about this next?? But more than anything, I wanted to understand Edwards's point of view. Jacob had nothing to do with it. If anything, he makes things worse. So yeah…This was just something I had to do for myself, but I hope you liked it. PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Thank you again Krystal Cullen for being my lovely beta. I really appreciated!!**


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